Saturday, June 13, 2009

Painful metamorphosis - Kafka?

I think I've worked out what's been happening lately. It's taken weeks of terrible artistic torment to see it. The kind self torture that makes you twist in your sheets at night, and curse your blunted abilities. I've been afflicted with an inferno raging inside that's barely been able to be contained by my skin. You probably know what I'm talking about, and I think it's unique to artists. But it comes down to pure thumping, comsuming desire.

I've been really unhappy with my artwork recently, particularly when it comes to comic art. I've been making many attempts and failing as I flail about look for style and form - being influenced this way and that by the many great artists I see out there. I was getting really bummed out by it. Ripped up by all these powerful twisting desires. I wanted to explode from the inside out. Then it dawned on me - I was in the process of changing my art. Shifting from my old style to a new one - one where I was beginning to add the elements that I knew deep down were missing and yet I wasn't admitting it. Any metamorphosis is going to be painful and confusing, especially one that alters your identity. Like a guy lying on the ground screaming and changing into a werewolf as his body twists, splits and changes shape. It means taking a massive step backwards.

I think I'm on the right path now, although I havn't really begun to do what I need to get where I want. But at least I know it. I need to add a lot more character, composition and style to my artwork - as well has improving my knowledge of anatomy and movement. I know the artists who have it and am going to learn from them. It's a painful injection.

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