Monday, September 21, 2009

Breaking my leg

Sunday night a week ago I broke my leg clean below the ball of the upper left femur. It hurt like hell, enough that I felt totally incapacitated - it was if a massive hand had reached down and squeezed all breath out of me - besides initially trying to pull my pants down to look for what I imagined was a bone sticking out of my leg. After a while shock kicked in - my hands and teeth began to clatter and shake uncontrollably. Thank god my wife was there to help me. My daughter Sadie even gave me a few kisses as I lay on the floorboards of my lounge room in agony (Sabine was a little more frightened ... she stuck by her mum).

In a flash the paramedics arrived, shot me full of morphine and threw me in the back of Ambulance. I found myself in hospital cranked up on pethadine waiting 24 hours for a doctor to pin my bone back together. I've got to say that the Ambos and Emergency staff were brilliant and sympathetic. Surgery happened a few days later. They sliced open my thigh and bolted titanium pins to the two parts of my femur. I now have what could be described as the stitching of a football down one of my legs - staples, no less. I suggested they used adamantium pins and do both legs while they were down there, but to no avail.

Hospital sucks. I've had a real insight into the humility and pains of the infirm - I only have complete sympathy for those stuck within the hospital and medical systems. I never want to go back. Ever. That said I'm happy to say that private health insurance and the Australian Medicare system really worked for me. I'd hate to live in a country without healthcare, infact it scares me silly just to imagine it.

Eight days later of painful physio sessions, drug-addled conversations with friends and parents, monotonous evenings of cycling TV stations, horrifically pained nightimes of awkward sleeping and waking, a night full of the worst abdominial 'bowel cleansing' medicine you can imagine (or don't, please) during which I had to painfully limp my way to the bathroom over and over again without assistance and risk falling over again - I've finally come home to my beautiful wife (who's getting a medal for all the help and effort she's made to make me comfortable)and children. Now it seems like some bizarre dream, except that I'm still limping painfully around on crutches. What a bloody waste of time!

So how did I trip up? How did this useless painful setback begin?

I slipped up on one of my daughter's pink tutu dresses.

The doctors said it was an absolute fluke where I broke my leg ... something usually only reserved for old timers over the age of 90. Just my luck.


John said...

I got sympathy pains aching through my legs! Sorry I haven't gotten around to visiting you in person. Hope the mending process is fast and efficient from here.

Ty Carey said...

No problem John. I'm busy mending away. Only got about five weeks left of crutches :)